wanderlust

Tag: school

DETERMINATION

by thegoldparachute

OKAY, NO MORE MOPING. NO MORE YEARNING. NO MORE STAYING BEHIND EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE ELSE.

Even though I’m lagging behind in my studies and have an uncompleted assignment due tomorrow, I will get my ass down to the gym today to run, and then I will bathe, and go out to have lunch, settle my assignment, and then carry on with my group meeting at Sentosa. 

You can do this, you can do this, you can do this

Gotta have faith in myself, in my own self-discipline, in my capabilities. 

LET’S GO

Glitter Dust

by thegoldparachute

 

Love yourself because if you don’t, there’s no one else who does. We’re all worth our own love.

Halfway through the school week & I’m feeling kind of burnt. Hang in there, gotta stay positive :’)

A certain darkness is needed to see the stars

by thegoldparachute

I feel so nauseous & kind of wooly now. Like there’s a stirring in my stomach & I don’t know if this exhaustion is from the accumulated lack of sleep or from the emotional exhaustion that’s been weighing me down these days. Maybe it’s both, maybe it’s neither. Maybe I’m sick. Maybe I’m not. I can’t really tell, & I don’t think this continued pondering’s gonna do me any good.

I can’t get to sleep now though.

Napped for an hour & a half in the afternoon cos I felt so wrecked. Set an alarm to go jogging at 530pm but I just couldn’t drag myself down to it. I’ve lost it today man. My total calorific count today’s probably gonna be like a horrendous 2000 or something. So we’ve been doing lessons on how your ability to exercise self-control actually depletes your cognitive abilities & vice versa. I shouldn’t be coming up with an excuse but since Wednesday yesterday I feel like I can’t think anymore. I’ve been eating emotionally these 2 days & it’s such a vicious cycle. I eat because I’m sad, & I’m sad because I eat. Need to get my shit together & aim to lose another 2 pounds in a week. Please grant me the strength to pull through this rut. I really don’t like how I need the sleep so much when I’m not supposed to be sleeping, & when I finally get to sleep I have this strange fear of sleep. It’s kind of like repulsive. Please make me well again ):

Okay, maybe it’s the alcohol that should be blamed for all this. I’ve never drank that much in my life on Saturday & I finally challenged my threshold, oh god. It honestly didn’t feel like that much when I was drinking it, & I only realized how absurdly insane it was compared to my usual limit when I started becoming a Merlion (i.e, throwing up like one). Downed 2 Martel mixes, 2 cognac mixes, 1 Bacardi melon mix, 1 flaming lambo & 1 jager bomb. All in like less than an hour & a half I think? I spent only $20 though! That was the only upside, hahaha. Think it was the mixing of alcohol that killed me! Never again, Wei Ling. Never will you do this again. It’s so bad for my liver (& calorie count) but okay, we all need at least one of this sort of experiences in our life yeah? -convinces self

Anyway, I haven’t updated this space for close to a month month & hmm, over this span of time loads have happened, as always, & there’s so much to reflect on! School’s getting busier & busier & I’m beginning to feel myself get suffocated by it. Classes are so demanding because there’s always this pressure to speak up & say something useful, or knowing that you have something constructive to say but le wild brain suddenly fumbles up & le wild heart beats like never before. It’s equally traumatizing & taxing, hahaha. & I’ve got 7/8 projects this semester man, what sorcery is this. On a bright note, I’ve been able to speak up a few times…The lecturers always go through their slides so fleetingly & I haven’t reviewed any of them man. Need to start catching up soon. Can’t believe it’s already been 5 weeks of school & recess week is coming in a week’s time.

Okay, this post is getting really long. I’ve decided to leave my ever annoying issue with my self-esteem in another post. Meow.

Escapist Mentality

by thegoldparachute

I feel really, really tired these days for no rhyme or reason. I just wanna sleep away my entire night/morning, the afternoons aren’t too bad though. Think I’m having some escapist inclinations or something. Y’know, just like how it is when people do not want to face up to whatever things are, so they try to put themselves in a state where they are away or unconscious from it all. Need to gear myself up and make it go away as soon as possible. Need to be ready to fight the new school semester.

Honestly honestly wished I had been brave enough & decided to go ahead & take a gap semester. School really, really sucks. The modules, the lecturers, the people. Taking a 6 month-break & doing an internship would’ve been more ideal.

Was supposed to go clubbing tonight! Failed, however. Tiff & I, either one of us, will just happen to have mumsy issues that night & we’d have to call it off. Slightly disappointed, but I totally understand her plight. Guess this means more rest considering I have 2 lectures from 9am-1pm tomorrow. Kind of miss clubbing without inhibitions.

I’ve officially decided that I do not like clubbing at Zouk. People will probably think I’m nuts because it’s supposed to be The Nus Hangout, but that’s exactly the reason why I dislike it. Anything goes wrong & there’re a million eyes watching you. Everybody would know. Besides, it’s not funny when people you meet at awkward situations there end up in your classes & all. It’s just, awkward! Please let it stop happening to me. 2nd time already, I swear!

Why are my eyes so tired already! & I really hate DSC. I hate Business Analytics, statistics, whatever. I need someone to tutor me/give me motivation for this stupid module :(

Genting Trip! & the last night before school starts again.

by thegoldparachute

Since it’s the start of the new year, I’ve decided I should try recording down the various events for memory’s sake in this new space. Re-reading them later on months down the road will remind me of the excitement & happiness I felt when those incidents occurred. Anyway, I’ve been feeling really horrid these days, the pain in my stomache & lower region has been working up & I feel nauseous. I don’t know if it’s because I went on the Genting trip without recovering fully, or it’s something serious. I pray that it’s not something serious like an infection because I really want to be well. I do take care of my diet & all recently, try not to skip meals at all or my gastric will act up like a bitch. You see, it’s so hard trying to keep to my losing weight plans & exercise like crazy when I’m having pains like that. Going to go see the doctor tomorrow after my first lecture this semester! Pray pray that I’ll be fine.

Shall continue describing about the 3D2N Genting trip that I went on with the JC 08s31 friends! Vivian, Yongyi, Ivan & I were so spontaneous, I’m actually pretty surprised that the trip materialized. Initially thought that the trip would be highly awkward because it’s not like the 4 of us usually hung around in school together, but it was much much better than Vivian & I expected :) It was really, really fun, hope they thoroughly enjoyed themselves too! We did almost everything there was to do there – Karaoke, Haunted House Adventure, Ripley’s Believe it or Not, Outdoor & Indoor Theme Parks (I conquered the Flying Coaster & overcame my fear of heights!), Go Karting, Archery, Bowling, Temporary airbrushed tattoos (it’s still on my back after 4 days!), & Movie! Love Vivian man, she’s always willing to do spontaneous, unnecessary stuff with me like the temporary tattoo. We almost decided to get another one hehe.

I’ve always wanted to go for the Haunted House Adventure because I’ve never gone for it before despite having gone to Genting several times with my family already. Vivian was too afraid to go, so I went with the other 2 guys & like always, it was damn hilarious when we all became so chicken neh neh & were damn scared. We walked in the choo-choo train style with our hands on the back of the person in front, so I could feel it when Yongyi’s hands were trembling! Still can’t stop laughing whenever I think back about it. He described it as “wah no more pride already” but actually it’s nothing much right, anyone will be scared by the people jumping out to touch & scare us from time to time! Archery was also alot more fun than I remembered previously in secondary 2, I have no idea why! Maybe because the weather there is so awesome that it makes you enjoy whatever you’re doing.

Oh, & I learnt 2 new card games! The Angry Birds card game & The Game of Life card game. The Angry Birds one was really fun even though I kept losing on the first night! I’ve only won once, hahahaha. You’re supposed to clear your 6 bird cards by rolling the dice, and then you get a chance to shoot the standing pig with a dice from a distance away. On the 2nd night, Ivan cursed the pig or something because the rest of the 3 of us still couldn’t hit it down even after 9 tries. Seriously a damn hilarious game hahaha.

All in all, the trip was really fun & it was the first time I did such minimal shopping in Genting. Wish I could have a litttllleee more time to shop though, realized that I had quite a few stuff I wanted to look at since their clothes were on sale. Gave it up in the end ‘cos it was too much of a hassle! The trip back to Singapore was really comfortable on Grassland’s royal VIP coach hahaha. Quoting my friends, it’s “living like a king” on the bus man. Was kind of upset that the trip ended so quickly. Escapism mentality on again.

Sigh, tonight’s the last night of my holidays before another crazy, torturous 4 months of school. Thinking about how I slogged through certain parts of the previous semesters kind of gives me the chills already. It is just so stressful at times. Joyce & Yiwei are away on exchange & I’m pretty sure I’m going to feel an infinite times more lonely without them.

I want to be strong. I want to exercise tomorrow. Let me be well.

Goodnight everybody :)