by thegoldparachute

I’m so sick of being strong. I am so scared, so so scared of so many things but I don’t know how to tell this to anyone. Somewhere along the way I’ve forgotten how to voice out my thoughts.

Antibiotics didn’t work for me. I just need it to go away, please just go away. I am so, so scared. I have no one to tell this to.

& I need my daddy to get well soon. It kills me to see him looking older & weaker now. We need something conclusive, & I really hope it’s nothing serious. I am so scared. He needs to get out of those hospital clothes because I can’t bear seeing him in them. What have I done to help him? What can I do for him?

It’s the last 2 weeks of school & all the deadlines, reports, presentations, individual quizzes are weighing so heavily on me at such an inopportune time. 

I feel like I have no control of my life anymore at this point in time.

I am so conflicted. I hate it when the mother goes crazy over stuff and vents it on us. Can’t she see that we are feeling the stress too? & that I have my own personal problems to worry about? Then again, I admire her so much for her mental tenacity and strength.

Please grant me the strength that I need so badly. I’ve forgotten how to be strong.