Would you do it

by thegoldparachute

I have this sudden desire to get a tattoo. Like words or some sort, something short & simple inked onto me. I’ll get it when I reach my UGW, kay? If I want it badly enough I gotta work for it. Or maybe I won’t ultimately, considering how my parents would probably fly into  a rage/throw me out of the house/disown me/you get the drift. Hahaha.

I’ve again concluded that I’ll probably end up a spinster or attain a Nobel Prize for being the first human capable of asexual reproduction. Relationships terrify me. It’s not that I’ve got loads of experience, in fact, I’ve got none, but I freak out whenever there’s a prospect. When someone starts treating me in a certain way & all I can think is that I’m just not good enough. & then my metacognition starts getting concussed & beaten up when I devote too much of my mental capacity in thinking through it. Like how I’ll still end up alone. How I crave for companionship now but is not willing to give my heart away because I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to commit, I don’t want to try. He’ll see how terrible I am as a person & then leave me. & what if he’s just not the correct person? Should I just try now, tell myself it’s okay I can get out of this midway if it’s really not what I want? Is it worth trying? Is it worth the potential emotional rollercoaster during the period of “trying”?

Mindfucked, man. If I were a primate in a forest I’d probably be an outcasted lunatic who hasn’t mated once in her life. Who the f gives so much into thinking about this sort of stuff when it’s supposed to come naturally to you as a person?

Today’s Friday. Please grant me the willpower to start over again, to banish away stupid thoughts, to rid the disgusting lovesick drawl, to seriously start exercising again after a 1.5 week hiatus, & to finish my readings & get prepared for my test tomorrow. May the weekends last forever (I know it’s not possible but just indulge me okay)

So are you gonna text me or not

I really like it when someone pats my head ^^

I’m secretly sickly childish but most (actually, none) of my friends know this. I like to whine & act cute like an idiot once in a while but meh, that’s just not me when I’m not with my sister.

Mmmmm, I’m thirsty right now.

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